Thursday, October 20, 2011

Back to Centre

Amazing how one can drift away from centre and not realize it.  The past month and a half have been a bit of a whirlwind.  School started, I had a lot of extra work, I was travelling for work (a bit, not much, but enough) and then several people confided in me about the trauma in their lives (seriously - a bunch of people).  I've been eating poorly, not doing yoga and not exercising enough. 

Now, I love to have people trust me enough to share.  And I love to be able to help.  But no matter how much you help or how good it feels to help, it does take a toll. 

So here I am ... a few dollars richer (the work) and emotionally drained (the trauma) and feeling far poorer than I did before.  Is the money worth the extra work?  Sometimes - but maybe not all at once like it came this time (and often does in September).  Is the helping out of friends worth the emotional exhaustion - yes, definitely.  But there comes a point where I have to take care of me.  I reached that point today.

But how does one come back to centre?  Well, I have a plan for today - and a little into the future.  Sort of.  I'm going to catch up on the little things - the laundry, the vaccuuming.  I'm going to freeze the three big bags of carrots that are in the fridge slowly rotting if I don't do something with them.  And I'm going to spend a few hours working on my own research.  Plus, I have to get back off the chocolate, get back on to my exercise bike, get back to my yoga class and generally eat better (I've been gaining weight, too, which I am NOT happy about). 

I'm going to remember my priorities - my child and my husband.  They are the most important things.  The work will happen ... I don't want to stop working, just have to manage it better. 

I really don't know how women work full time and have families.  For me it is utterly impossible.  I'd be missing so much of my life.  But for those who do it ... good on ya.  It's not for me.  I used to think it was ... but it's not.

2 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. I took on new responsibilities at work this summer, so basically I'm now doing 1.5 jobs. I'm learning a lot and I think ultimately all will be good, but I've been going non-stop between work and church stuff. And I've just got me to take care of! Well, and the cats, but they're generally low maintenance. I've been making sure I get exercise in and trying to eat better, but I'm still working on getting a balance back in.

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  2. Hey girl! Love this post... have had a similar experience with people confiding trauma in me and it taking a major emotional toll :( Time for US!! :)

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