Monday, March 5, 2012

Facing the past

I left Texas 15 years ago.  Sometimes it doesn't even feel like I ever lived there.  I lived in Austin for nearly two years.  I was 26 when I moved there, 28 when I drove home.  I haven't been back since ... unless you count a few hours at the Houston airport last March.  In celebration of our 10th anniversary, my husband and I are taking a vacation - and we decided on Texas as the destination.  So I'm going back. 

A lot has happened in the past 15 years.  Most of it taken up with meeting and marrying my husband as well as giving birth to and raising our son.  In that time I've learned to accept my mood disorder and mostly learned to manage it (although some days I'm not so sure).  Fifteen years ago my mood problem was undiagnosed and mostly unrecognized.  I was living in serious denial and not acknowledging that it existed.  Or perhaps not realizing that it was even a possibility.  I was not the easiest person to be around.  And my head was not the easiest one to be in. 

I know time heals all wounds.  But there is a small part of me that is nervous (embarassed?) to see the people I used to work with.  But I need to see them.  I want to see everyone and catch up.  The largest part of me is very excited to see everyone 15 years later.  I know we'll all look older, but just to see faces and hear voices again is very exciting.  It really will be like going home.  Because in a lot of ways, I grew up in Austin.

So for any of you Austin-ites who read this.  I can't wait to see you.  And please don't hold my past against me.  I'm certainly a different person now than I was then.

1 comment:

  1. It's funny what we remember...I remember watching "Sleepless in Seattle" with you in your tiny apartment and laughing because I always start crying before the movie starts! I remember the time you borrowed Linda's car and "something" died in the engine and how bad the car stank! I remember dinners together, movies, and so much more. The hard stuff makes us wiser and, hopefully, better people, which then allows us to cherish friendships. And I can't believe it's been 15 YEARS!

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