Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Favourite Children

Saw an article about this on the noon news hour today.  A Canadian blogger posted a blog about how he met his wife.  In it he commented:  "If I were to be absolutely honest, my older son is my favorite of the two. He and I are adventurous partners in crime, and I can’t imagine life without him. He was an accident waiting to happen, and I’m so glad it did."

Of course, this stirs up controversy.  How can a father say that one child is his favourite?  He replied to some of the comments in a later blog

Okay - first off, I aplaud his honesty.  I appreciate anyone who can write honestly, especially when they know that it's going to be a controversial statement (or should know - don't know if this guy knew it at the time, although he must have).  I try to write as honestly as I can.

However ... I learned early on that when blogging, there are certain things one should not write about.  I decided a while back (thanks in part to sage advice from my aunt) to really limit what I write about my child.  He's getting to an age now where his friends could, conceivably, find my blog and read it.  I can write what I want about ME, but it's not fair to put stuff out there about HIM.  (Also learned pretty early on not to write about my mother or my sister, either - so I try to avoid pointing out family in my musings). 

There's also an important point that I don't feel this guy focussed enough on (at least in what I read).  He says he has more fun with his 5-year-old than his 2-year-old.  Well ... duh!!  I'm willing to bet that in three years he'll be having as much fun with the younger one as he's having with the older one now.  It has very little to do with personality at this stage.  It has to do with development and maturity.  5-year-olds are inherently more interesting, more able to do things and more "fun" than 2-year-olds.  Two-year-olds are still babies. 

As far as having a favourite child?  Well, I have nothing to say about that.  I have an only child.  I love him the most.  He's my favourite kid in the whole wide world, and I try to tell him often that I just can't believe how lucky I am to have HIM for my son. 

But truly ... no kid, I don't care how important honesty is to you, should ever read that they were their Dad's second favourite.  Even if it's true.

As a Post Script - I read a lot of the comments after I wrote this blog post, and a LOT of people reflected the same words.  This guy really needs to mature ... in many ways.


  1. before I had my twins I asked a friend of mine, who has two daughters: "Honestly, do you have a favourite?" (I now cringe at my insensitivity, sorry, sorry, sorry. But his response was perfect. He said: "It switches." Totally! For me it switched according to who is or is not throwing a wobbly in the grocery store. But if I ever develop a clear fave, I will NEVER say it out loud or in print or demonstrate it in any way. In fact, can't even conceive of loving one more than the other. they are both perfection.

  2. I know, right? It was kind of brave of him to admit this to himself, but rather insensitive to blog about it. But I guess there is a learning curve with everything.


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