First off, my apologies to my friend, E, who sent me that article on eating breakfast. Turns out she didn't send it because she feels strongly about eating breakfast (I do not know if she does or not), it's just that she had very recently read it and found it serendipitous that I was writing about breakfast. Thanks, again, for sharing the information. I'm all about sharing info. That's why I like Facebook so mcuh.
Since I wrote the post on breakfast the other day ... guess what? I've eaten breakfast every day. Because I've been hungry. Or because yesterday I made brunch for family and friends. But I feel good about the amount of food I've eaten and the reasons why I've eaten, so I'm feeling good about things.
I am wondering if going public about something as sensitive (to me) as weight loss was a good idea. Yesterday we also had a weiner roast with same friends and I had a few marshmallows. Friend kindly asked when it was I was going off sugar. Point taken. Caught in the act, so to speak. But it was my choice to share, so I also have choosen to take the jibes.
I have to say that it is difficult to not think of food when my whole day yesterday was focussed around food. Making food (brunch of bacon, pancakes, scrambled eggs, home-made juice - it was nummy and I didn't eat as much as I wanted to), harvesting food (potatoes and carrots), and again eating food (chips, hotdogs and marshmallows - not healthy, but again I didn't eat as much as I wanted to). But I did a whole hour on the exercise bike yesterday and when I got on the scale this morning I was 145.4 - down 1.5 pounds. That can be simply water weight and normal fluctuations, and I'm not taking it as permission to eat or as a miracle that I'm losing weight. BUT .... it's in the right direction!
Now onto dreams ...
I have strange dreams. Often. And I often remember them. Last night was a doozy. I'm going to have to work on deciding what it means, but here's a description of a dream that defies description.
First thing I remember about the dream is being in a car driven by my sister and dodging tornadoes - several of them (at least 3). I dream about tornadoes often - I am fascinated by them in my dreams - they are terrifying, but I know I won't get hurt by them. Other people are going to get hurt, though, and I'm usually trying to protect them. And I'm not being silly, either. I'm trying to get away from them or hiding in a basement. Anyhow, something changed in the dream and then I'm in a classroom situation - taking several courses from very young teachers (early 20s). I get my report card and have a C in one class (! - I never got C's so this is traumatic). I try to argue that it's because I had to do the work in French and the teacher only spoke Italian. Then as I'm trying to convince the principal that I should have a different grade, suddenly there is a graduation ceremony. I can't find my class, but I run into a couple of room-mates. I don't know them well, but I sit with them. We are in Hawaii, and a hurricane (I know, it's Typhoons in the Pacific, but not in my dream) is coming, water is flooding in everywhere (I also often dream about floods - again, I survive them, but other people are dying) and I get in an old crappy car with the room-mates to get to higher ground. We drive into a cave where we are driving on a road that is elevated above water and there are all sorts of statues. Suddenly there are only two of us - me and the owner of the car. I'm eating sushi and the water is rising. Then we stop so he can eat. To keep us moving I suggest I drive. At this point the car has turned into a piano. I'm driving a piano! And now we are driving through a museum. Then the cat meowed and I woke up.
I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this. It's terribly weird. And it was stressful - hard to describe the anxiety of it in words. The cat meowed at 5:50 and I really didn't want to go back to sleep. So I didn't.
Things are so fluid in dreams. It makes absolute sense for a car to turn into a piano. Or for many tornadoes to be coming down on me at once. It is real at the time. I do wonder if it is my anxiety-laden personality that causes such dreams. If it is just my body's way of working through anxiety that I experienced or blocked during the day.
I have done dream-work in the past, and when I have a particularly vivid dream like this one, I try to interpret it. Trick to interpreting dreams, however, is not to buy a book on what things mean. It is to figure out what the vivid parts of the dream mean to you personally and then interpret it for yourself. It takes practice. And faith.