The other day I said I just wasn't going to worry about weight over Christmas. As a matter of fact, I said the subject was closed. Well, apparently it's not. That doesn't seem to be working for me. If I totally don't worry about it, I'll gain back the 5 pounds I've lost. And I don't want to do that. I really don't.
I was scared to step on the scale this morning. Since I hit 140.0 a month ago, I have not hit it again. I've been wavering between 141 and 142.8 (I'd say 143, but I actually haven't weighed myself at that, so I'm keeping that .2 lbs under!).
Christmas is hard. It is an incredibly good excuse to allow myself to eat. Chocolate has been consumed in copious amounts. Big suppers have been eaten, and I feel myself slipping back into the habit of eating until I'm full. It feels good (and it doesn't). I was working hard for a good part of the month and feeling somewhat overwhelmed (I have low tolerance for stress, in case you haven't noticed), and of course food helps cover up that feeling.
So when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was just hoping I wasn't over 143. And I wasn't. I was at 141.8 - which is okay. It's higher than I want to be. My goal is to get under 140 and stay there. Not because I feel fat, but because I think it's a good round number to be below - I think I will be healthier with those pounds off (7 of them compared with the 147 I was at). But for now, 141.8 is much better than what it could be. I've been exercising more - aiming for 45 minutes to an hour each day instead of allowing myself to slack off at 30 minutes. It helps. Exercise certainly isn't the answer to losing weight (controlling food consumption is the answer), but exercise helps.
So for everyone out there who struggles with food and weight (and believe me, I know I don't struggle badly, this is a bit of a self-imposed struggle I'm doing here), my wish for you is to enjoy the holidays, enjoy smaller quantities of all the good food, keep moving as much as you can, and get back to better food habits after it's all over. Today, that's what I intend to do.