Well, this whole Sandy Hook thing has really bothered me. Can you tell? Not overtly. I didn't break down into sobs when I first heard of it.
My first reaction was anger (again) at the ridiculous culture that is America. (I was about to write "and, in a lot of ways, Canada too" - because Canada and the U.S. of A are very similar. But our laws differ in two MAJOR ways: 1) We have universal health care and if you need mental health care, you CAN get it - although lots of people don't; 2) We have gun control laws). Anyhow, I was angry at what I see as ridiculously held beliefs about individual rights that can at times outweigh the greater good.
That was my first reaction. This kid was mentally ill, was part of a ridiculous culture, didn't get the help he needed, and broke - and took it out on 26 people (a community, a state, a nation, the world), his mother and himself. This shouldn't have happened.
(Let me just say, it's an enormously complex issue to which I do not have the answers. And I don't need to have the answers. I'm just relieved and hopeful with the amount of anti-gun, pro-mental health, anti-violence rhetoric I'm hearing in the media. Perhaps the US can find the answers they need to fix this).
I felt guilty, as I mentioned the other day, for not being more upset for the parents, for not feeling for the children.
Well, folks, give it time. The past two days I've had moments of tears. Probably because I'm seeing and hearing people who live there, who knew the kids. I can feel their pain now. Before I was more removed, now it's getting closer. And the tears come.
Each one of us deals with this differently. We each need to have patience and compassion with ourselves and with others because this is a hard one for everyone, but I think especially for those of us with young children. It hits close to home. And it will take time for everyone - even those of us so far removed from the actual event.
Remember to remember the families, the friends, the community who are directly affected by this. Because it's hard for those of us who knew no one involved. Can't imagine how the people there are feeling.