Pardon me while I use my blog to sort out a bit of a conundrum for myself.
It is rare for me to run into a person who is truly unpleasant. But it does happen on occasion.
Today I'm dealing with the aftermath of just such an incident. And trying to figure out why having someone be less than pleasant to me shakes me to the core of my being. Why is that? Why do I care?
I'm not sure I can answer either question. My logical brain doesn't care. But there's something in my less-than-logical brain that got very angry and hurt by someone today. Someone I don't know, who I don't really have to deal with, and who has no real effect on my life whatsoever (although we have to get through her to get to something in our lives). So why does it become a physical problem for me? Someone (a woman), would not return my calls or speak to me on the phone, but had no problem taking a call from my husband. Now this seems to me to be someone who probably took me the wrong way the first time we talked (which may well have been my fault). But why should I care what she thinks of me?
More importantly, why would it make me shaky, mad and want to cry? It almost feels like I'm reacting to her emotions more than my own. Like her disdain toward me is somehow transferred to my body and just doesn't the vibration of my own point of view on the situation.
I've mentioned it before, but sometimes I really do feel like someone else's emotions are imposed on me from outside. And I don't have control over it. Like I don't know how to keep them out. I do wonder if that's the case. Because the emotions I'm feeling just don't make sense to how I think on a situation.
Must look into that further. And learn to block others' emotions. Because they can really hurt.
No wonder I hide in my house. I don't like dealing with people like that. I like the nice people in my life, though. So there has to be a balance.