Tuesday, May 28, 2013

10 pounds!!

Well, as of this morning I stepped on the scale and I had hit 136.6 pounds.  Since September, I have lost 10 pounds .... since September!!  When I embarked on this journey, I thought it would be a breeze to drop 7 pounds before heading to California for Halloween.

Well, nothing about this journey has been a breeze.  I had heard that after you hit 40 years old your metabolism changes drastically and it is harder to lose weight - but I wasn't sure I believed it.  I do now.  Plus, when you get older, you need fewer calories, but it is really hard to re-train your brain to eat less.

I also learned that I am most definitely an emotional eater.  Recognizing that has been a revelation.  And although I'm not sure I've conquered it, being aware is the first step, right?  Knowing that there is a non-life-supporting reason for my eating is important.

I don't think I am the healthiest eater that I could be.  There is still a chocolate addiction I need to face up to.  But I managed to lose the weight even with chocolate pretty much every day.

As I mentioned before, I signed up for an account on www.myfitnesspal.com - and it has been a great tool.

I really do understand that I am not currently overweight.  And I know a lot of people struggle far more than I do with food (to the point of addiction, which I am not at), with emotional eating and with weight loss, but each of us has our own personal journey and experience.  For me, 147 was the number beyond which I was not willing to go.  Because I never want to be THIS heavy again (taken when I was probably 155 or 160lbs several years ago - around 2004 or 2005):

But I would like to be closer to THIS weight (taken in 2007 when I was probably 130 or just under):

Amazing the difference 25 or 30 pounds makes to how you look - but more amazing is the difference in how you feel.  I much prefer to look and feel like that skinny chick in the bottom picture - although I'd have to lose another 10 pounds to get there.  

What it really comes down to, though, is that I still feel like me, no matter how much I weigh.  And fortunately I have a husband who loves me no matter what.  So it's not like my lifestyle, relationship or quality of life is greatly affected by an extra few pounds.  But a little bit of extra weight can really affect self esteem, and it can cause health problems, too - even an extra 15 or 20 pounds.

Not sure where I'll go from here - but I'm hoping to not go UP!!  Not sure if I'll aim to lose a few more pounds - maybe get to 135 again.  But I've taken a step in the right direction, even if it took a long time, and I know how my body has changed.  It just took a really long time.

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