Sunday, May 26, 2013

Blah days

Emotional night last night.  Worked through some issues that have been going around in my head for 40+ years.  But it was draining.  And today has just been, well, BLAH.  It shouldn't be.  Life is grand.  But the day is blah.  I suspect it is just emotional exhaustion - a hangover, if you will.  And it's a necessary part of the process.  What process??  Well, the process of getting to know myself and my world - which is, I believe, the reason for being here on this plane at all.

Everyone experiences blah days - for whatever reasons.  I'm not unique, I'm not special.  But because of the anxiety issues that I recognize in myself, I sometimes wander into the realm of wondering how much worse my issues are than other peoples.  And that's where I pull myself up short.

Because my problems aren't worse than other people.  They may be different than some people's issues, but they are certainly not as challenging as what some other people deal with (I haven't spent 10 years dying from brain tumours, for instance).  And they definitely don't make me special (because everyone, to some degree or another, goes through pretty much the same things ... but in different ways).  I go through what I go through.  I don't feel sorry for myself.  I just deal with it the best way I know how.

My issues don't make me special.  They make me me.  The way I deal with them might make me happier than I would be otherwise, but as soon as you start to compare your problems with someone else's, that's when the ego wins out ... and you lose.

So today .... Blah.  But this blah - this emotional rest - is probably just the proof of a letting go - and the promise of yet another piece of my puzzle being put into place.  The promise of more better days in the future.

That's what we're here for, people.  To get to know who we are.  To understand ourselves in the reflection of the world.  To learn.  As soon as you start to grasp that (which I'm beginning to), the sooner you can start working toward true happiness.

So today, blah could easily equal future happiness.


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