Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Mirrors and skinny bloggers

So have you seen it?  The picture of Caroline Berg Eriksen, the Norwegian fitness blogger 4 days after giving birth?  I've seen it.  A couple of times on Facebook in different posts with different comments - some positive, some negative.  In reality, it's very impressive if someone can be in good enough shape to look like that so soon after childbirth.  Good on her.

I don't read Bokmal (Norwegian), so I can't tell you about her blog "Fotballfrue" (okay, I know enough to understand the title - Soccer Wife - she's the wife of a popular Norwegian soccer player), but from the pictures, it sure doesn't look like a fitness blog - so I'm not so sure about that one.  Her Instagram page says that hers is the biggest blog in Norway.  It's quite beautiful, you should take a look at the pictures (and if you know how to read it, let me know if she really IS a fitness blogger).

I have nothing against this woman.  She looks very pretty and like she has a perfect little life and is quite the celebrity in Norway.  Good on her.

So why does she piss me off so badly?

When I have an irrational emotion about something, it usually means I need to think about it (read: blog about it).  So the question - why does her blog, and more importantly, her need to post that particular picture bother me?

For one thing, I DID NOT look like that 4 days after giving birth.  At 35, after giving birth to a 10-pound boy with a HUGE head (38cm), I was pretty much hobbling around my house trying to deal with the total upheaval that had just happened.  I didn't have time, energy or the least inclination to take a selfie in the mirror of my rather abused body.  I was busy rinsing stitches and trying to deal with a lack of sleep that would not rectify itself for another 18 months.

But good for her to be in the kind of shape that she DID look that good.  She obviously did not weigh 200 pounds the day she gave birth (like I did).  And I'm guessing her little one isn't 10 pounds (I took a quick look online but couldn't see what the babe weighed).  But she did the work, didn't gain all that weight and stayed healthy during her pregnancy.  I did not.  She is also 26 years old - not 35.

So why am I pissed - not because I looked bad, not because she looks good.  I thought maybe it's because she felt the need to get external validation about her body and her work - it seems she wants a pat on the back and for people to congratulate her on her hard work.  It's kind of annoying when someone out there in the world wants to be patted on the back for their hard work and their perfect life and goes on the Internet to get it.

But wait a minute …. I have a blog.  Is that what I do??

Do I go into the Blogosphere to get validation from other people?  Is that why I do it?  Actually, when I started, I'd say maybe.  I was very much into how many people followed the blog, how many people read each post and what the numbers were.  I was thrilled when people started following on a regular basis.  I've had moderate success.  But at some point it stopped mattering to me.  At some point it simply became a place to share my experiences, my epiphanies (repetitive though they may sometimes be), and it stopped being a place to get validation.

So her blog was a mirror for me - a reason to think about what I do and why I do it.  And now that I've thought about it, her post annoys me a little less.  So what if she is beautiful and fashionable and famous and shares that with whomever wants to read it.  Good for her.  I hope she has even more success than she's had up until now.  And I hope her life is as happy as it looks.

I think what really bothers me is that I suspect her life isn't so perfect.  People who put perfect pictures up for others to see are usually using them to hide behind.  They don't like the mirrors other people put up there and their projections keep the mirrors at bay.  For her sake I hope I'm wrong.

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