Well, yet again it's been a while since I posted.
I've been busy. Trying to work 24 hours per week as well as take care of my home and family. It takes up time. Haven't been thinking too much on many topics, so haven't felt the need to blog about anything (and I certainly didn't want to drone on and on about Rob Ford and give him any more air time - what an asshat of a bully he is - really, he needs a great deal of help and therapy). And I've been feeling joy-less, so that wasn't too inspiring either.
Part way through November I had a really great day. I was in a fantastic mood. And I realized that I hadn't had a day like that in a long time. It surprised me to have a good day … and it wasn't good to be surprised by it. So I've made an appointment with my doctor to talk medication.
I don't think that someone who is down should automatically jump into taking powerful mind-altering medications. But when one does as much as one can to eliminate depression naturally and it still doesn't work, well, it's time to give yourself and your family and friends a break and help out the brain chemicals.
Unfortunately I don't see my doc until the end of December, but I've got enough of my current pills to get me to there I hope.
I haven't been taking medication regularly for the past several years. I've been doing off-label use (with the permission of my doctor) - taking it when it was needed and not taking it when it wasn't. And that works - as long as I am self-aware and know when I need to take it. That's a trick, because when you have an emotional disorder, sometimes you don't think really clearly - irrational thoughts take over and you can't make the proper calls about when to take the meds. Most of the time I'm pretty good with it, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone else. And sometimes I let it go too long and then it's a problem - because then it gets bad and I have less inclination to catch it. The main problem with my current pills is that they disrupt my sleeping patterns. So I want to see if I can find a medication that doesn't do that. It's hard to get into a better frame of mind on too little sleep.
For anyone out there dealing with depression, really, don't let it go on too long. It's not worth it. We're only here on this planet for a little while. It might as well be happy time.
Now - to make little draft blockers for my windows! Maybe I'll blog about that.