It's always good to remember that if you are over-reacting to something or someone, it means that it/they have put a mirror up to you that you are not happy looking into.
My husband and I, over the years, have realized that whenever we get truly angry at one another, it is usually caused not by our current actions, but by something creeping up from the past - something that one or the other of us hasn't dealt with. Realizing this, catching it before it blows up, and honestly talking about what might be causing the over-reaction usually leads to a long conversation and a huge emotional release. I thank God for this man I married who will do this with me. I know I am blessed by this.
I over react to a lot of things - but as I mature (okay, get older!), I've learned that the over-reaction is a symptom, not really a reaction - it's a symptom of something that is not quite right with my thinking - it's a sign that I need to re-think things, re-live some past memories, let go of some anger - or acknowledge some anger and THEN let go of it.
It's quite alright to be mad at parents, siblings, old lovers, friends - it's okay to acknowledge that they screwed up, that they hurt you. And then it's okay to forgive them and move on. They don't even have to know about it. It's also okay to acknowledge that you've screwed up - hurt yourself or someone else. We're all human. We ALL make mistakes - and it's okay to apologize for them. Allow yourself to be human. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Allow others to make mistakes.
And then ... move on.
Now ... if I can only figure out what's bugging me this week and causing me to eat WAY too much ... hmm ....