Three years ago I weighed 147 pounds. And I wasn't happy about it because I was heavier than I'd been in 5 years. That was September 7, 2012.
And here I sit today, August 26, 2015, weighing 149 pounds. Argh.
So I go public again because I want to lose 10 pounds. And I don't seem to be able to do it without being accountable to someone.
Hello someone ... anyone who reads this. You are to whom I am making myself accountable. Don't worry, you don't have to do anything. I just have to imagine that you are there.
Weight has been an issue for me non-stop for 3 years. It's gone up, it's gone down, I've felt bad about myself pretty much the whole time because I never hit a goal. My process is obviously not working for me, but here I go again, doing the same thing, in the same way and hoping it will work this time. Insanity according to Einstein. He might be right.
I am using www.myfitnesspal.com. The great thing about this site is that it keeps track of calories in and calories out. The bad thing is that it gives me permission. If I haven't reached my calorie goals for the day, I allow myself to eat more. So I'm going to try not to do that this time.
And I am trying to avoid processed sugar as well. Especially chocolate.
I have to eat better and at the same time eat fewer calories. You see, over the summer we moved, and I have been working a lot since November (a lot for me, anyhow). So things have been pretty stressful and I've been eating a lot - including a lot of sugar and chocolate and caffein. I've not been working on www.dearjackhistory.blogspot.ca, and I feel bad about that. I haven't seen enough of my son or my husband, and the cats haven't had enough of my attention. I also haven't been exercising enough. Haven't been doing yoga enough, haven't started meditating, which I promised myself I would.
Aside from gaining weight, my mood has been bad. Having just cut out sugar for a few days, I'm already feeling better. On top of that (and if you're at all squeamish, you might not want to read this part ... seriously, skip to the next paragraph) I've been having a real problem with diarrhea. All my life I've had an irritable bowel but for a while now it's been really bad. The doctor is going to send me to a specialist, but this morning I think I figured it out - the sleeping pills I've been taking (for the insomnia problems I've been having due to the added anxiety and stress this summer) might be the culprit.
So I stop the sleeping pills (hope I can sleep), cut out sugar, cut out all caffein and start exercising regularly again - while telling all of you about it so that I may actually stick to it.
It's a lot to tackle at once - especially since the stress of working is still there. But I can do it. Or at least part of it. Or one of the things.
Wish me luck. Send me good vibes.